My Bookish Nope List

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Inspired by Margaret of Weird Zeal, I decided to make my own Bookish Nope list. This are my list of nopes when it comes to books.

Alpha Males

I love romance. I love reading about people falling in love. But I want so many more cute little cinnamon roll men.

And I’m a little tired of other women pulling the, “Well, I don’t like alpha males in real life….”

I’m sorry to do this, but I don’t believe you. I’m with the red pill dudes here. You want an alpha and just couldn’t get one. Why else would you be getting wet to them on the regular?

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But what do you want an “alpha” for? They just aren’t as good as the supposedly “beta” guys.

I’m honestly just so sick of reading the tall, swaggering, jerk of a hero. Can I get more shy boys? Just damn…a man who is shy is sooo fahking cute! Give me all of that adorable social awkwardness. Give me all the nervous little things, chubby guys, short guys. And call me Queen Pick-Me, for all I care. Have fun with your alphas.

Most of the guys I dated and the one I married are the supposedly “beta” dudes. Those are the guys who are interesting, smart, funny, and sweet.

I dated one dude who could have qualified as alpha. He was a fuck-head. An absolute fuck-head. He had no interests other than taking wannabe gangster pictures inside of his shitty tricked out car.

I just don’t get why the romance genre has such a shallow representation of men. There’s only one type of male in romance. Shy guy romance is a really REALLY small genre, and to be honest…well, it overlaps a lot with Yandere shit. No hate, that’s just not for me. And it seems more geared at the dudes.

Romance authors I’m begging you! Write a romance novel with a chubby guy who works in IT. He knows how to code? Someone tell me how that’s not sexy.

Regency Romance

*Sobs* Why? Why is there so much Regency? Why is THAT the most popular Historical Romance subgenre?

The dresses look like shit.

I’m not even gonna put on a front. I choose my books based on the dress on the cover. I don’t even wear dresses in real life. But if I’m gonna escape into a romance novel, I need the female protagonist in a beautiful dress.

I hate the style of Regency dresses.

But I go looking for romance novels to read and I’m flooded with a historical romance market that is like 90% Regency.

The only reason I ever became interested in medieval history and started writing books set in the medieval era is because the dresses are pretty.

Also, Regency is just way too recent to be interesting. They were barely a hundred years away from cars.

Ugh…and the ton and London and the season. I’ve read my fair share of Regency, because it’s much harder to find medieval romance. I’m so sick of it and hate everything about it.

And can I also add that the men dressed like shit in that era too? Breeches and fancy coats…..yech.

Beauty and the Beast Retellings

Jordan Peterson has got your card, fellow ladies.

He says if you do a meta-study of romance novels and erotica geared towards women, the mono-myth, the plot underlying the vast majority of stories is Beauty and the Beast. This is because the ultimate female fantasy is to civilize an uncivilized man….

I’ll just leave that there and let the Beauty and the Beast stans decide what they want to do with that information.

I don’t get it. Forced proximity. Broken Boy. Threat of violence. Y’all know you’re making women look stupid as hell with all these Beauty and the Beast retellings, right?

YA

I’m the only asshole in the book blogging community who doesn’t like YA. Well, maybe like one of five assholes.

I don’t understand why people love YA so much, but I won’t shit on it. It’s just not for me.

CEO/Billionaire Romance

Just stop playing and strap a dildo to an ATM.

I love how the protagonist in these books is always like, “No, don’t buy me anything! I can’t accept these gifts!”

…………………………………………

Don’t act like you’re not materialistic and in it for the money. If money wasn’t part of the appeal, the hero wouldn’t be fucking rich.

If you financially objectify men then you never have any right to complain about female beauty standards or sexual objectification of women.

Age Gap Romance

I should probably be into this. I’m like the perfect candidate to be into this.

I never met my father. I should have an older dude fetish. But for whatever reason, I always found that pretty weird. The biggest age gap I’ve ever had was when I was 19, I dated a guy who was 26. Even that was kind of pushing it for me.

I don’t find large age gaps appealing. How are you gonna get drunk with your dude and find the music video of Macarana on youtube and then sit in bed together singing loudly? I mean…um…this has never happened in my house. Really though, you want to share the same generational references with your dude. Nothing sexy about a guy who can’t nostalgia with you, but could nostalgia with your parents…ew…

Rape

There’s a lot of rape in the romance genre. Please don’t argue. You’ll just look silly. Anyone who reads primarily in the romance genre can see it’s a fahking problem.

Domestic Violence

There’s a lot of domestic violence in the romance genre. But it’s always written in this way where you can tell the writer is trying to make it *vomit* sensual.

The dude will push her up against a wall, grab her wrists, hiss into her ear. Sometimes a slap, a shove, a grab, will happen. always written in a very sensual way. Please don’t hurt me. *Gag* Chest heaving. The man is towering over her.

Fuck, why are women so degenerate.

Men are degenerate too.

Female degeneracy is just REALLY apparent when you read a lot of romance.

This is why in my book Time Storms, a book meant to be a critique of the romance genre, Jake just hauls off and punches Veronika in the face. He knocks her out like a dude. Breaks her jaw. I wasn’t fucking around. I didn’t want that to be sexy at all. And my primary goal with that book was to troll the romance genre.

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That’s it for me. All of my least favorite books are in the romance genre. My favorites are in there too. But that’s where all my bookish nopes are.

What are your bookish nopes?

4 Comments

  1. My nopes align with yours. I might addβ€”and this seems to be the going thing in YAβ€”introverted-teenage-female protagonist who doesn’t know her own beauty, has a sketchy childhood, wise beyond her years, can fight like a man. She saves the world and the nerdy, weak boy who loves her. Get real…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, I’m kind of over the Strong Wahman thing….I could get into a nerdy, weak guy though lol
      I haven’t read a lot of YA, but what I have read does seem to be ripe with Mary Sues. I always prefer a flawed, sort of obnoxious main character.
      You really summed up YA lol The Young Adult genre has been called out XD

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Is Regency the Jane Austen era? Empire waist dresses? If it is, I bet it started because of Austen.

    I don’t read a lot of romance so I can’t tell you my nopes for that genre. But I am appalled to hear that domestic violence being portrayed as sexy is a trope. I suggest The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, a super well-written novel narrated by a Irish woman who ends up in an abusive marriage. It ain’t sexy.

    Like

    1. Jane Austen is Gregorian Era, I believe. If I’m not totally messing up my historical eras, then I believe Gregorian and Regency overlap a bit, so the fashion would be really similar.
      Yeah, the cut of that style of dress just isn’t for me.

      It’s awful :/ To give the romance genre some credit, it is getting better. It was much more commonplace in the 90s. You still see it way too often though. I mean, a hero usually won’t outright open-hand slap the woman anymore (this happens in Johanna Lindsay, Judith McNaught, and Virginia Henley novels). Now it’s usually more subtle, a grab, a shove….I hate it.

      I’ll have to check that book out. Thanks for the recommendation πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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